YG&B's Best Morning Ever

I walked out of my apartment building this morning and was literally face-to-face with CARSON of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. And there's JAI strolling near the flowerbeds! And is that TED on the phone? Dear G-d in heaven, THOM is fussing with something in a Bentley! Where’s KYAN? Where is he? There he is! An episode of Queer Eye is being shot in my building! I might have died right there and never wanted for a thing. When I saw Slick Rick and Dana Dane perform “Bedtime Story” live at the Apollo, I thought that life could offer no greater delight, but now I know joy is truly limitless.

I consider myself to be relatively cool around celebrities. I spent a lot of time growing up in LA where it was important to be blasé about the celebrities who mill about. I got tongue-tied and misty-eyed when I met Cornel West in an airport but I was utterly bored when I saw Eric La Salle and another woman from ER at the Promenade in Santa Monica. I thought I was cool. But walking out of my building into the loving arms of Queer Eye, I stumbled, I talked to myself; I had to sit on a planter and call into work, asking that I not be fired for getting my Queer Eye on.

Let me explain something of my background with Queer Eye. There was a time, during my adjustment to NYC, when I was really sad. My job blew; my apartment blew: I was surrounded on all sides by “musicians” who played incessantly and the woman upstairs intermittently hosted a full band practice (I’m talking drums, guitar, keyboards and vocals) and practiced her Lord of the Dance routine all day and all night. The lack of peace at home and at work made my life in the Big Apple decidedly rotten. Then there was Queer Eye. Five energetic, funny, gay men who are experts in their fields – fashion, food & wine, interior decorating, grooming and culture (don’t hate on Jai, he was Angel in “Rent”) —get a straight man set up with new tools that boost his self-esteem and teach him a little bit about how to make his external image and his surroundings better reflect who he is on the inside. The Fab Five, as they are collectively known, bounced into my living room every Tuesday night with energy and a joie de vivre that made me believe in the catchy theme song, “All things just keep getting better.” Queer Eye lightened my spirit.

Queer Eye is not billed as a “makeover” show, but as a “make better” show. The Fab Five have helped elderly widowers take the first steps back out into dating, gotten their charges ready for breakout nights performing, assisted budding entrepreneurs in hosting business launch parties; they have presided over countless engagements (who could forget the Armenian backyard love nest Thom created!), and even helped a nudist to peacefully and fashionably co-exist with his mother and daughter (I won’t judge why a 39 year-old nudist still lives at home with his mom. Well, I will judge a little bit).

As I sat there starry-eyed and grinning stupidly, a man from the crew came over and told me I could go talk to the guys and get their autographs. No, little me? I’m not worthy. But, if you insist. I spoke to Jai first. Then I talked to Thom and told him that he is a genius (I wasn’t kissing up, he is! I’ve said it in the privacy of my own living room!). Thom hugged me! I also got a chance to talk to Kyan (yes, he is hotter in real life) who was just unnecessarily kind. Carson was mobbed by some other women taking a picture with him then he had to run off to shoot a scene, but I like to believe he smiled at me. Ted was also whisked away before I got a chance to beg him to please please pretty please I promise I’ll cook if you’ll just put out a cookbook.

The Fab Five were wonderful; they were kind and appreciative of their fans. They did not rush me out of the aura of their glow. The crew was uncharacteristically welcoming and let me hang around and chat after the guys went off to shoot a scene.

If you haven’t before, please give the Fab Five a try. They will make you happy, and that’s the highest aim of television. On the east coast, you can see them on Tuesday nights at 10pm on Bravo.

My VH1 Best Morning Ever: All things just keep getting better…..